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Featured in: Club/bar/pub, Fun(ny), Party, Sex(y), Shocking

My introduction to Wall Street client entertainment as a first year investment banker

By: thatlimo | Feb 19, 2016 - 12:12 pm

I grew up in a small, small town in a small country far away from the US. A few random years later, I find myself attending university in the US. 4 years later and even more random, I find myself working as an investment banker on Wall Street. How the hell did that happen..? Thinking back, I honestly dont really know. It was a bit of a fairy tale ,all strange and random. My own little Alice in Wonderland story. But here I was, working at 3AM in the morning putting together a Power Point presentation for some meeting one of my bosses was going to. Oops, one of the footnotes missed a period – got to fix that! I was green as green could be: My English wasnt great, I was still very foreign, the Wall Street culture was pretty new to me, and working these absurd hours was just ridiculous. But I loved it. Every minute of it. Although the work was brutal, I honestly still think I loved it all. After having worked for just a few months, one of my friends at the bank called me up and asked if I wanted to join him and a few friends for a fun night out. A client was taking us out. Yay – I was down! I was thinking we would go out to some restaurant or club to have a few drinks. -Not this time. We are being picked up in a shiny, white stretch limo outside our office (little foreign boy with a big smile on his face dont know what to say!). The limo is stocked with booze – champagne, beers, wines, etc. Was there even a hot lady in the limo serving us drinks? I dont remember anymore, I think my recollection at this point got hacked. Im thinking that this Wall Street life is pretty cool.. We are heading uptown, feeling like Tom Cruise, larger than life and bulletproof. First stop was a restaurant. Awesome food, fancy, small portions, pretty people and good fun, but a less interesting story than what was to follow. Next stop: Some strip club on the east side. Mind you, I was a sheltered little boy from a small town in Scandinavia and I had never been to a strip club before. Ever. This was BIG! We each got about $200 worth of funny money (as the strippers called it) to spend inside the club. TITTIES everywhere!! EVERWHERE..!! Holy shit, this was something different.. I had no idea what to do with myself, but was soon chatted up by some Ukrainian topless stripper, who after taking $20 off me gave me my first lapdance ever. Some other lady gave me a shoulder massage. I looked around. There were TITTIES ALL OVER THE PLACE.. Not sure how long we were at the club, but I didnt even spend all my funny money. Next stop: A massage place. Well, I thought it was just going to be a massage. Mind you, I had never even gotten a regular massage in my life at this point. What was I to expect? We all shower and are then taken to our massage rooms (strange procedure I though, but what the hell..). Actually, they were not rooms really, just stalls separated by hanging curtains. I lay down on my stomach with a tower covering my butt. The massage lady enters, and starts massaging my back. Feels amazing. Then she jumps up on the table and starts walking on my back. My back makes cracking sounds and I think that this is a bit unusual. She jumps off the table and continues her massaging. It feels amazing. But she is getting awfully close to my private parts! HOLY SHIT – she just touched my BALLS!!! My hole body twitches! It probably wasnt intended. Probably just happened because she was careless. She asks me to turn around. Turn around? Huh..? What..? ok.. She starts oiling up my dick and I am totally lost. She starts gently stroking me. One part of me thinks this is amazing and feels incredible. The other voice in my head is not as happy: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? SHE CANT DO THIS..! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! I AM A GOD BOY AND DONT DO THINGS LIKE THIS..! SHE NEEDS TO STOP..! I tell her in a weak, whimpering voice, where my words can barely be heard: no.. no… please stop… slower, slower.. no please stop please. She doesnt stop. I halfway sit up and grab her hand trying to make her stop. But my efforts are too weak. She finishes the job. Its messy. Very messy. I lay back down. Spasms. Body twitches. The world feels different. She cleans up. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED..? WHAT THE FUCK..!!! Just the funny story of my introduction to Wall Street life outside of the office..  

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