I like her. She’s Intelligent, Strong, Emotionally Available, Stable, and a Mother.
Why is a single mother so attractive to me? Is it the strength, the heart? Or is it just some weird fetish. Speaking of, she is unbelievably beautiful. I mean drop dead, turns heads, she should be in movies and have 16 year old girls jealous of her in magazines kind of gorgeous. I felt like the luckiest person in the room wherever we’d walk in. It is only amplified by just how amazingly intelligent she is. She keeps up with my spastic, million miles a minute mind and even I have trouble figuring out half of what comes from my mouth. She’s managed to start her own business doing what she loves and still finds time to volunteer with a program that helps troubled youth through teaching them culinary skills. Oh, she’s also a performer. A geeky, talented performer.
She’s more charitable than the entire religious school I go to. She actually cares about people, people she hardly knows, people who don’t deserve that much patience. I’ve seen people like her in movies and read about them in books, but I didn’t think she’d be here. I don’t hate myself when I’m around her. She makes me feel good, and want to be more like her. A good person.
There’s a problem.
She’s a mother. Which means she has children, two, girls. Scary intimidating girls. Her face lights up when she talks about them. They are her basis. A basis that, if I pursued a relationship with her, would be affected by me in some way. That's the problem. I’m not willing to subject most potential relationships to who I am, let alone have it be around children. I’m a positive male role model if you want someone who is still trying to figure out his own life to influence your kids. Anxiety, depression, both medicated, but I’m emotionally dangerous to any person that would care about me. While I could risk it to be with her, I can’t risk hurting them.
The only reason her eyes are that amazing is because behind their blue, are them.
But, I like her.