Taking a fake poo at work
By Scowley1993 Story ID: 33
Like everyone knows, there's no better place to poo than at work. What's better than getting paid to drop bombs? My boss has to think I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome by now. I frequent the bathroom about twice an hour..not even joking. The thing is, I only actually have to do the deed once or twice a day depending on whether I had Chipotle recently or not. So, the majority of my trips to the bathroom are just me faking it to get a break from work.
So, today I was taking my 7th trip to the bathroom for a fake poo/ 8 ball pool game on my phone. I closed the door behind me took my pants down and sat on the toilet. Some of you may be thinking "if he's not really pooping, why take his pants down and the whole 9 yards?" Well, you see, it's a one person bathroom and the door doesn't lock. I figure, if someone is going to accidentally walk in on me it's better if I look like I'm actually taking the browns to the super bowl. Anyway, I'm sitting there playing pool and realize I have to pee. Lucky for me, I'm already sitting down on the toilet so I decide to pee sitting down. I'll remind you, I was trying to pocket the 8 ball on Joseph. I started feeling my leg getting wet so I looked down. Apparently my penis was caught on the seat and I was pissing straight into my pants that were around my ankles on the floor.
I had a few hours of work left so I dried off my pants the best I could and sprayed my pants with febreeze. Walked out of there smelling like pumpkin piss.
Boss still thinks something is wrong with me, I'm beginning to wonder myself.