Oooops - I farted on the bus..!
By kevinwbac Story ID: 112
I was on the bus home from work, sitting in the front of the top of one of London red buses. It was one of those bus rides that was just peaceful. No japping away in mobile phones and no teenage girls blabbing about the days’ drama and other stories. Just a smooth and soft, easy ride back home.
I had eaten a pretty angry burrito a few hours ago and my stomach had started putting up a fight. As the bus stopped for a moment and the silence filled the entire upper deck, a sneeze caught me completely off guard (and I always hold back my sneezes in public) - BUT I simultaneously catapulted out the loudest and most abrupt fart I ever have..!! I mean, it even lifted my bum from the seat!
Oh noooo!! It was a really smelly one. Oh dear… I got dizzy, that’s how bad it was.. YIIIIIKES!! – the stench engulfed the front of the bus like invisible fog, trapping everyone in misery and breathing pain.
Every single person on the upper deck noticed – it was impossible to not notice - a guy behind me even uttered “for f**cks’ sake, man..!”, and I heard several feet shuffling as people moved further behind in the bus to escape the poison.
Sitting there in the front of the bus, in the stench of my very smelly burrito fart, feeling the eyes of my fellow passengers lazer piercing the back of my head = very low point of my week. Made me feel awful at the time, but has made for a funny story now :)