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Featured in: Disgusting, Fart/shit/burp, Food, Painful, Stupid

Never eat a whole bag of prunes!

By: monkfish55 | Feb 22, 2016 - 05:22 pm

This is a true food story from my life. I like prunes. In fact I really love prunes. They are soft, sweet, chewy, sticky, smell good and make me happy. Someone once told me to only eat three prunes per day. I always adhered to this, until this very day.  The 500 grams bag of prunes I had bought was sitting on the table in the apartment that I lived in. The bag was open, it was inviting, almost stretching it arms out and hugging me. I ate a couple. Then some more. Started reading and ate a few more while I was engrossed in my book. It was a great time, happiness and bliss and soothing sweetness. Up until this point, this was a lovely story. Then the bag was empty. Oops! After less than an hour of emptying the bag, my stomach was starting to go bananas! There was a massive chemical reaction down there. It sounded like mad recurring thunder..!! THIS is happening inside of me?? Then some very strange and unfamiliar noises. Bubbles. Rumblings. Movements. Suddenly I feel the urge to run to the bathroom!! Thank the lord I was home alone. Because after the prunes had left my interiors and escaped to the free world, I could not see a single white area of the porcelain! It was all covered in very awfully smelling prune shit! Not only the porcelain was painted, even the underside the toilet-seat was coated in prune shit! But that was just the start. I kept having to shit at least every two hours throughout the day. It felt like I was non-stop shitting! Sometimes there was just water coming out. Smelly, farty water. Even throughout the night it wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept waking up just to run to the bathroom. And it continued the next day. I was in a business meeting for two hours the next day, and towards the end of the meeting, the pain was so incredible I almost cried. I mean, tears forcing themselves out of my eyes! I needed to shit water! At the end of that second day, my anus was so sore, it was basically an open fleshy wound. It hurt to sit, it hurt to walk and it hurt to just be. From this day on, I have not eaten even one single prune.  

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